it wasn't lemon gatorade
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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