Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
