dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
