wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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