Need sex. Gaining weight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
