Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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