I bet he comes in French.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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