I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
