we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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