the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
