At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
