NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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