Is it because I queefed?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
