i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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