You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Green mimosas i think yes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
