New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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