So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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