I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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