my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
