i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
