Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
