You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
