what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
