I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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