He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
