I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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