I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
