porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
