Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
