Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
