I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
