We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
