I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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