She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
