Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
