Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
