Swine flu. Run for my life!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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