He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
