now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
