i think my tv is drunk
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
