He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
