There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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