Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
