no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i need some magic done to my vagina
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
