you guys were way drunker than both of me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
