OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
