i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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