apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
