are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
