I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
